2

Friends Forever ?? ~ A reality check !!

At least once in your life, little Ved, you are going to meet that one person, who will prick you right through your eyes and laugh at you, that, Friendship was one big joke – But don’t believe him yet !!

More than once, little Ved, you will come across that one person, who will stand by you through thick and thin and restore your Faith in Friendship – Call him your Best Friend !!

There will also be a person, who hugged you during good times and vanished during tough ones – Don’t forget the painful lessons he left behind !!

And then will come a friend, who will hang around until money lasts – Run 10 steps away from him !!

Followed by another, who will show up until the last day of your life, until the memories last – Cherish Him !!

Another will walk in and pose as your bestest friend, but don’t fall for him yet, he will be there only till your Popularity lasts – don’t entertain him !!

Then will come this guy, who will be right beside your sick bed, breathing new Promises for the Future – don’t let him go !!

When your parents fail you, this little lad will cry together with you as if he lost his own – Call him Brother !!

He will not have any money, he will not look glamourous, but he will give his life for you – In gratitude, give your life back to him !!

And then she will walk beside you, like a Beautiful Poem, making heads turn and gossip mills spinning – Just ignore all of that, for I, your mother knows, she is your Best friend !!

And then this friend, who before your even realised, snatched away your girlfriend, don’t cry over them – sit a couple of minutes in silence and let her go !!

A friend can make you or break you beyond repair.

Your mom has been very lucky to have very few friends, who have literally spent half their lifetime with her in a constructive way. as I close my eyes, all I can see is a life well spent with them.

Then a negligible few, who have taught the uglier side of life.

And I will also admit that I have not reciprocated many of the friendship invites that came my way.

But you Baby Ved, be wise in choosing your circle. I pray that you end up with people who will shape you and not crush you.

Be around with people who don’t always have to agree with you, with a different opinion, else you will never know the other side of life.

Having said all this, if once in your Lifetime, you meet people, who have robbed you off your Friendship, Surprised you with their ugliness, and scarred your tender heart beyond words, I plead with you, don’t lay there disappointed.

Bounce Back Ved !!

For you always have a Friend for life, who does not always understand your Boyish stuff, who is not as pleasant as your father, who says more don’ts than anyone, who stalks you each second and keeps a tab on your communications, who pokes her nose and wants to know all about your relationships, because she cares for you.

And you call her Amma. We have been together from day 0. And we were born together, you as a son and I as a mother. And I promise to be there for you, forever.

Pris,

A little boy’s Amma.

1

Single Child ? Anyone? I always wanted to be one !!

I always wished all of my Childhood, that I was a Single Child.

Or I wanted an elder sister.

But my Big Brother irritated me like hell and I made sure I irritated him twice as much.

I wished I was a Single Child so that I got my parents undivided love, and lots of chocolates that I dint have to share.

Oh yea, so, he was my brother. So what ?? what else does he mean to me?

I’ve had lucky friends with brothers who were extremely sweet like angels.

But my brother, was so terrifying. His hyperactive soul played pranks with me every other second, he laughed at my falls, never picked me up, never hugged me, never patted me, never asked me how my day was.

He never walked me to school, never helped with homework or help me choose a dress. Never complemented how I looked.

Our mother has to 1st whisper and then shout loudly ordering him to wish me happy birthday.

He made a formality Christmas wish and a disappearing New year wish and a no wish Easter.

He walked 10 steps away from me; Disowned me every opportunity he got.

Of all these, the most irritating thing he ever did was, to call me names I never liked. Not just in house, but middle of the streets.

I used to runaway from him.

Who wants a brother like this. You might, but not me definitely not me. I even wrote anonymous letters to some Christian Preachers to pray for my brother to like me 🙂

That was probably I did not see what was coming.

Days flew, and years rolled by, but for one particular day, when my whole world was shaking beneath my feet and I was being chewed by the jaws of fate, there stood my irritating and unlovable brother wiping tears like a 5yr old standing at the feet of my Father.

He still dint hug me, he still dint wipe my tears, he just let me sob as we both soaked not just in tears but unexplainable love for the very first time beside our Dad’s coffin.

He sat right across Dad’s coffin in the Church, comforted by his beautiful wife, I looked at him rather stared at him to realise what was born that minute.

It was not really our Dad who died that day, But love was born after 30yrs of being mere siblings.

What if I did not have a brother. I would have been standing there right in the middle like an orphan, begging around with pitiful eyes, to carry my Dad for his final journey.

No I did not need anyone. None of you. For I have all of the worlds Strength & Love put together in one Soul called ‘Asir’, my beloved Anna.

every time I saw his face that day, the more convinced I was , that dad did not ‘just’ die yet !!

He stood tall that day, on that very important day and virtually hugged me and my baby as we held on to hope like a thin rope. He was my SuperHero.

I can even go a step further and feel its sometimes my dad that just spoke to me through my brother. that’s him, that’s him.

Hey he was just a brother in the past, now and forever a father.

I still have some friends who have brothers who don’t even give a second look after marriage, who have parted ways after the death of their parents.

I know of some siblings turned strangers turned foes for the love of so called “wealth’.

As I think back, all I can remember is, I have never hugged my brother, I have never asked him about his Sports Day, I have never complimented him, I have never tried to understand his world.

I was so selfish all along my childhood.

If I had taken the effort to move closer to him and made friends with him, my life would have been less dramatic. Yes ofcourse I would have broken a few bones in that process 🙂

I wish I could travel back in time and make up for every lost minute with you Anna. But yes, life would have been less interesting that way 🙂

For each of us, there needs to be a sibling standing tall shoulder to shoulder. Not just for hugging and kissing but also to hold on tight when everything else crashes down.

When I get old, when my parents die and my kids fly away, I would like to sit in peace and sip that hot cup of coffee and rewind all the good old memories with my brother. Our beautiful home, our grandparents, our parents, the amazing legacy they have left behind.

When I look at Baby Ved, I feel this gentle nudge to get him a sibling.

When I am gone and his dad becomes a sweet memory, the only other person who will pick up his pieces and strengthen him will be his sibling.

We all need a sibling to laugh, love, care, share memories, fight, get hurt, get back on track, to cherish memories and to walk hand in hand as one body one soul.

Many friends may come and go, parents may die one day and children go far away, but my Brother you will stand with me forever in memories after all we shared something so special, our Mother’s Womb.

For me this can be the Bestest relationship for anyone.

Pris,

A little boy’s amma.

 

2

Saving the girl child is not the need of the hour – Trust me !!

Pretty curls & bright yellow ribbons, Butterfly frocks and fluttering eyes with infectious smile, I always knew and believed, Baby girls were a slice of Heaven on earth.

I did not know a Boy’s world.

They wore the same boring trousers. Cars & Bikes were not my favourite. I dreaded at the fact of having a Boy Baby until this happened.

It did not just happen, but heard and read and everywhere I looked, I stared at this insane atrocities of Men (Boys) towards its most Precious Gender.

Throughout my pregnancy, I was sure of one thing, I did not want a Baby Girl.

I did not want creepy looking men to drool at my 10yr old Innocent daughter.

I did not want some random funny looking guy to advise her on ‘How not to look funny’

I did not want that ticket collector, that strange man walking on the road, to hit and push and rob her off her innocence.

I freaked at the thought that, that guy whom I always feared all my life, would walk up to her and swear and stain her dignity.

These are just some of the many ‘I don’t wants”. Some of which I don’t find appropriate words to write. Some of which might be very raw, and to refrain from writing them could be the best thing I can do for myself.

Although I had many a “I don’t wants”, I also have a million “I want’s”

For example,

I want to give birth to a tiny baby boy, who would respect and love a girl, knowing that, she is as precious as he is. Her parents too rejoiced the same way, his parents did.

I want to raise a little boy, who knows that, She is equal to him not in ‘many’ ways, but in ‘All’ ways.

I want to bring up this tiny gentleman in such a way that,

He lets her get into the lift first.

He opens the door for her.

He does not let her walk behind him, but beside him.

He does not smoke on her face.

He fights hard the feeling of not to touch her without her consent.

He who does not treat his wife as the “better half”, but as the “best half”

He who points to his daughter and says, be like mom. And to son, bring a girl like mom.

He who is a little generous to her flaws.

He who listens to her.

He who fights for her.

‘Her’ can be his best friend, his classmate, his wife or could be any random girl.

The more I think about the boy, the more I understand the world.

Saving the girl child is not the need of the hour, but Raising you Boys to be Wonderful Gentlemen is the cry of the hour.

Leave the girls alone, watch the boys.

Watch them, watch yourself. What you talk to them, what you let them see.

After all bad boys are not born, they are created.

Take care of your boys, and girls will take care of themselves and the rest will fall in place and the world will fix its women problems altogether and once and for all.

I promise to take are of BabyVed; and yes your Girl is safe 🙂

Pris

A little boy’s Amma.

2

Baby Ved ~ Like A Girl !!

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I’m just keeping you aware, that when you visit our home, high chances you might catch a glimpse of Baby Ved cooking his Mom’s favourite dish or watching a Cookery Show.

At that moment, please don’t frown, “OMG Baby Ved, Like a Girl???”

Because I am going to teach him that, when it comes to household chores, there are no gender specific roles.

I admit, I am a very poor cook myself. But Baby Ved is not going to get away with that.

He is going to learn to cook, not just cook but do everything related to cooking.

No. It’s not a girl’s job. To cook is hers and to eat is his, is a ridiculous theory.

He can cook and she can eat. That’s fine.

Cooking, will be my first step in grooming Baby Ved as an Independent Child.

He will cook, Not like a girl, But LIKE A BOSS !!

Also, Wanted to add that, during your visit, you might be taken by surprise seeing Baby Ved sweep and clean the house.

Because his mom has told him that cleanliness is not gender specific. It’s not a choice.

Being a Boy, he has to be more cautious.

I bet, he can do all the household chores , not like a girl, but LIKE A BOSS !!

Please help yourself not rolling your eyes, when you spot Baby Ved suggesting his grandmoms on the latest shopping destination.

For Baby Ved loves shopping. For the moment he loves shopping, so that he can pull the dresses down while sitting comfortably in his baby sling.

Being fashionable and a shopaholic is not a girl thing. Whoever has told you so was just fooling you.

Being able to look your best and striving towards it is a form of creativity.

So yea, Baby Ved will shop with you, not like a girl, BUT LIKE A BOSS !!

I’m raising my little boy to be independent not just to help himself but to save the trouble for everyone around him. An independent boy/Man is a pleasure to be around with.

Who knows, tomorrow he might end up with your daughter and you can thank me at that time 🙂 Seriously !!

For worse, society has filled our minds with gender specific roles and to do otherwise, you will be criticised as “like a girl” or “like a boy”.

If God blesses me with a Girl, I would like to teach her to ride a Bike, Climb Mountains and break every negativity or stereotyping. She can do anything she wants to and not sit and burn in the Kitchen.

Next generation is going to turn the tables for Good. Time to positively enforce your dreams of freedom on your little ones to help them live life to fullest and not be a prisoner of dreams.

It’s going to be a sight to watch.

Not like a Girl, Not Like a Boy, But LIKE A BOSS !!

Pris,

A little Boy’s Amma.

6

Kindly spare saying the below ‘7 things’ to Baby Ved – Thank You:

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1)Of how Handsome or Cute he looks:

The other day, I read an eye-opening article , that children who are complimented based on their looks, grow up to have personality disorders.

Alternatively, please tell Baby Ved that, he is;

  • A kind boy.
  • A Soft Boy
  • A Loving boy
  • A helpful boy
  • An obedient boy.

Do add anything to the list to construct his character in a positive way.

2) Are you Dada’s Boy or Momma’s Man:

This is one of the ridiculous questions I have encountered all my life. I have always chose either of the two and immediately wanted to rewrite the answer. I would wonder if the other parent loved me any less.

This confuses the child as to who loves him the most or wait, something like whom he loves the most. For sure you are sowing seeds of doubt in his little brain.

He is ours and we are his!!

3) Mathematics Score:

I would forgive anyone and everyone, but not this culprit. Trust me, I have (as a child) refused to visit some relatives just because they scared the hell out of me by popping this question. They asked for Numbers. Please ask my son about Disney Shoes and Cars and Bikes but no ‘numbers’ please.

Even if he does not look like mommy, he for sure hates numbers like her. I think so 😛

4) What is your ambition in life:

This would definitely top the list of ‘insensible’ questions to children. When I was a child, I would take a couple of seconds to respond to this question and immediately some family member would do the honours for me and declare “she, Priscilla, wants to become a doctor”. Honestly my ambition was to marry a Chocolate Factory owner and eat chocolates every day. I’m not sure if I really knew the spelling of a doctor, but I for sure made them smile. They that heard my ambition. Not sure if they smiled because they were proud or smiled, cunningly.

BabyVed is a child. He does not have great ambitions. For the moment his ambition is to pull down the trays in the Kitchen, and sit with a pile of Onions and Potatoes all around him. Trust me; he is working hard towards it.

Let’s not spoil their creativity. Let’s not force them to live our dreams. Let them dream for themselves. Let’s not draw boundaries. And clip their wings. Let them fly and explore as much as they wish and reinvent themselves.

5) Comparing ‘HIM’:

This is a BIG ‘No’ for me. He is unique. That’s what I tell him every day. I really don’t care if your Grandchild, took 8 steps at 8 months and you find BabyVed still lazying around and crawling. That’s fine with me. As I told you he is Unique. For that matter every baby is. He is himself. He is not faking his milestones. I would any day welcome your positive criticism, to his flaws but not your discouraging comments please.

6) What he owns – ‘materialistic’ –

BabyVed is a ‘Single’ Child (as of now). But that does not mean we have taught him, ‘his’ toys, ‘his’ food or ‘his dress’. You can walk into our house any day and take any of these, except ‘His laughter’ and him.

I would appreciate if you can refrain from asking him, “is this your house” or “this this your own house” and anything that points to materialistic possession.

7) Your parents are working so hard, so better be good:

Our parents were extremely hardworking. They never told us. We found out as we grew. Same way, we don’t want Baby Ved to know what we are doing for him. He did not choose us. We chose him. We needed him, we longed for him. We could have lost him to any home or parent. But he was meant for us. Meant to shine in our lives. We prayed that, we hold and hug him every day.

So it is our responsibility to provide for him. By all means. Till my last breath, I want to keep working hard for him. It’s my duty as a parent and if we keep telling him this, then am not his momma and he is not my little boy anymore.

While I totally understand that we need to gel as a society to raise better individuals, I would like to emphasise that it should only be in a positive way.

Society can kill and inspire dreams. Our Next generation needs inspirations; they need to look up to us every time they stumble, not run away from us.

Raising baby Ved as a wonderful gentleman is my responsibility, but of course I could use a little help from every one of you.

Pris,

A little boy’s amma.