I would be really honest here and confess, I have raised eyebrows when a friend or colleague would say, they don’t have plans for having babies.
I mean, how could they be so mean.
Men and women were created to become husband and wife and in turn become Mummy and Daddy.
How can a women be so cold in saying she does not want children, after all that’s what we have been taught all through our childhood.
The ever graceful Women with a hands full of babies, the divine and privileged gender of all. Or at least that’s what we were told to believe.
Anyone without a kid was looked down upon.
An unintentional childless woman will end up being called a ‘Non-Woman’.
And an intentional childless woman will be called a ‘Non-Human’.
I have heard people commenting on how selfish those couples are to go childless and that the heavens will bring down their anger upon them and the curse of the unborn child intended for them.
I have also heard, how unwomanly those women are to even open their mouth and say that they don’t want kids.
As I said, I myself have had few of the above thoughts each time I hear of it.
I though it was a fashion statement.
I thought they were running away from responsibilities.
I thought they were too lazy to bring up a child.
I thought they were created inadequate by God.
All the above was just what I thought or made to believe.
But in reality, they are doing a favour. Not just for them, but for the unborn precious child.
This striking realisation came to me, when I had to stay awake straight 4 days, while I was calming my Baby Ved at the hospital a couple of weeks back. It was a tough time as a family, as a baby, more so as a mother.
Lost weight, lost sleep, lost my mind.
But none of what I lost was Ved’s fault. I cant crib on him. I cant say because of you, I missed my office deadlines, because of you Iam on LOP. None of it was because of him.
I chose him. I prayed for this baby. it was my choice. he is my reason to live, not my reason to complain.
You wanted to have a baby. You might as well be ready to miss that promotion.
you wanted to have that baby, you better be prepared to stay awake for days together.
You wanted to have that baby, you dare not accuse him of spoiling your appraisal and blocking your career.
You wanted that baby, you might as well keep a check on your health, rather than saying , “I died to bring you up”.
Babies are demanding, babies are expensive, Babies are Exhausting.
That’s how tiny miracles are.
If you cant take care of that baby, you might very well go on to be Childfree by choice and do that baby a fair bit of favour.
A little boy’s Amma.