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The ‘Un-Lovable’ Mother-in-law !!

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How to poison Mother-In-Law !!

 

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law.

In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing the poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.

Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, “Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.”

Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.” Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs.

He told Li-Li, “You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.”

Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed.

Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument in six months with her mother-in-law, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, “Mr. Huang, please help me to stop the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”

– Author Unknown !!

I am sure that story touched a few hearts like it did for mine.

I often think about stories that float around about that ‘Un Lovable’ Mother-in-law.

But just imagine,

She has already lived twice as much as you did.

She has seen the best and worst of her life.

She has dreams (just like you) for her children.

She was the queen of the house. Suddenly you come in and start advising her. Put yourself in her place and visualize how it feels.

She is sharing her precious child with you.

She is proud of you. but she never confesses it.

She actually is more proud of you that her son, but she never ever will say it.

Probably she was a single mother and gave more than her life to bring up that one life, who now calls you his life.

She may feel left behind with all you’re sudden high funda discussions. there is a gap, she feels lost in it.

She is probably smiling to herself and saying, he is my Son, I know him before you, he does not like that Green colour shirt !!

She is loud, noisy, cranky for reasons known only to her.

She will annoy you, pester you, make you question you’re existence and force you to think of storming out of the house and never to return.

Believe me, she has gone through all those days, a minute by minute of you’re anguish she knows. She has survived it. So will you.

Remember a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a Woman perfected without trials.

Probably if there was no mother-in-law, you would have never been perfected.

Her ageing soul is probably crying out to you for some help, again silently, again for reasons unknown to her.

She knows deep in her soul, you will be the person in all probability to feed her the last food.

She knows its possible to love the Man whom she raised and hate her.

She is dying a bit on the inside each time you fight with her son. And no denying she is way too possessive of him. Like you don’t.

As a young bride herself, she has faced it all, much worse in fact, and she knows exactly how you feel. But she can’t help herself.

Maybe she is not all that bad. maybe she is much sweeter than you.

Once a while sit and think about the dreams you have for you’re child.

And how you would want to breathe you’re last in his arms without a third person in between you.

Of course I am not denying the exceptions of Mean Mother-in-laws.

But hang in there ..

This one woman, spent her energy, time, money and memories to make the man you are living with now. If at all he is any good, it is because of the mould his mother made and the sacrifices she did selflessly.

I would like to finish this post off with a Beautiful Quote from Ayelet Waldman,

“I went from resenting my mother-in-law to accepting her, finally to appreciating her. What appeared to be her diffidence when I was first married, I now value as serenity.”

Pris,

A little boy’s Amma.

 

 

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Dear Son, I want you to be the Man, I always wanted to be!!

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It would easily be the Hypocrisy of the highest order, if I deny my secret dream or wish, that I was born a Boy.

More than once, I have had this secret wish.

When I was a child, maybe around 10yrs, when my brother was given the privilege to roam around and I was told I belonged to the house.

When I was a teenager, when I did not understand multiple happenings around me, and when my brother did not bother to be bothered about anything, and still roamed around the streets.

When I couldn’t wear shorts to the Theme Park.

When I couldn’t talk standing at street corners with friends.

When I couldn’t leave the house whenever I wanted and came in as I pleased.

When I couldn’t be least worried about how long my skirt was and when my brother loitered around the house topless.

Probably there were so many other things I was denied as a Girl Child, and when I look back, these things hardly matter to me now. They were passing emotions.

But there are some moments that are adamantly sitting on my memory lane. Those moments I really wished I was a Boy.

Like the one instance, I was (eve) teased by random school boys, I couldn’t do anything but run as fast as I can. I would have been an Olympian if only I had put in more effort.

Like the other day in bus, when I was still 12 yrs old, and a couple of classmates with me, and we were again (eve) teased. yet again silenced by fear.

Like that moment when my relative told my Appa, why would you need to spend so much on (just) a Girl’s education.

Like that, annoying rule, when everyone agrees that, girls need to talk  slowly and keep opinions to themselves.

Like that Embarrassing TV Ad, where only ‘fair’ girls got good jobs and ‘Fair’ boyfriends.

So many more, that I have lost count of them.

But yeah, I still wish I was Born a Boy, not just for walking around topless, but for many more. I did promise myself, that one day when I have a Boy Baby, I will impose my ‘Dream Boy’ dream in him.

Like, I want this boy in my lap,

To step aside and let his female companion board the bus first.

To open door for her.

To resist the thought of abusing or teasing a woman and to run hundred yards away from that scene instead of making her run.

To tell his mom, that no one cares, if she wears short skirts 😀

To assure his mom, that he is not the nightmare in a teenager girl’s life.

To say NO to racism of any form.

To think he does not belong to the Stronger Sex.

To embrace the victory of his Lady.

To ‘not’ post inappropriate content in social media.

To fight hard the urge to be a bully.

To be ignorant to the thoughts of shaming woman and her body.

So much more, so many more.

The future belongs to the Mothers of Boys to make this world a better place.

Being a mother to a boy has made me discover so many untouched layers of my soul.

Boys are not always a Bully; They are what their mother’s create them to be. Tiny Gentlemen !!

The calling is for Mothers with Boys.

Mother’s of tiny Baby Girls, a wise word for you “Just relax”.

You will know very soon that, Boys are sweet, Boys are Kind, Boys are Strong, Boys are Humane, Boys are Angels.

Pris,

A little boy’s Amma.

 

 

 

 

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I wish one day, when I give birth to a Girl, I Promise I will grow her up to be a Feminist!!


I don’t think women get equal with men one fine day. . It all starts from the day they are conceived. So for her to survive this gender battle, I will teach my little daughter to be a feminist.

How I plan to do it:

1. I will not do the ‘Traditional’ panicking the moment the doctor says ‘it’s a girl’.
2. I will Stop noticing and worrying about the complexion of my girl, the first time i hold her.
3. I will stop dreaming of buying (read stacking) gold for her.
4. I will brush away Thoughts about her marriage.
5. I will Start investing in her education.
6. I will Stop investing in land and gold for her.
7. I will Stop thinking of going abroad to save money for her dowry and marriage. I will not give dowry.
8.I will Stop telling mothers of boys, that they are lucky to have a boy child. It’s ridiculous and irritating. Seriously.
9. I will Stop taking her to marriages and family functions like a product up for sale.
10. I will not encourage my relatives when they say ‘ why spend so much money on a girl’
11. I will Encourage her to work, and be an example.
12. I will Start asking her to go out and buy eggs and milk.
13. I will Stop starting arguments like, ‘just because you are a girl child’
14. I will Stop telling her, ‘I work hard to get you married off’.
15. I will Stop telling her to keep her opinions to herself.
16. I will not give her wings of wealth, instead will provide wings of education.
17. I will not tell her, that I am alive to see her wedding. But I am alive to see her succeed.
18. I will tell her, Not to find the right guy, but look out for the right family. Every guy is as good as his mother.
19. I will not force her to learn cooking.
20. i will not ask her to be fair but lovely.
21. Absolutely no body shaming talks at home.
22. And of course I will tell her that, she is my Pride and my Nidhi , but I love Ved more than her 🙂
PS: I seriously don’t think there is any difference in a boy or girl child. All diapers cost the same 😁

Pris,

A little boy’s  Amma.