I always wished all of my Childhood, that I was a Single Child.
Or I wanted an elder sister.
But my Big Brother irritated me like hell and I made sure I irritated him twice as much.
I wished I was a Single Child so that I got my parents undivided love, and lots of chocolates that I dint have to share.
Oh yea, so, he was my brother. So what ?? what else does he mean to me?
I’ve had lucky friends with brothers who were extremely sweet like angels.
But my brother, was so terrifying. His hyperactive soul played pranks with me every other second, he laughed at my falls, never picked me up, never hugged me, never patted me, never asked me how my day was.
He never walked me to school, never helped with homework or help me choose a dress. Never complemented how I looked.
Our mother has to 1st whisper and then shout loudly ordering him to wish me happy birthday.
He made a formality Christmas wish and a disappearing New year wish and a no wish Easter.
He walked 10 steps away from me; Disowned me every opportunity he got.
Of all these, the most irritating thing he ever did was, to call me names I never liked. Not just in house, but middle of the streets.
I used to runaway from him.
Who wants a brother like this. You might, but not me definitely not me. I even wrote anonymous letters to some Christian Preachers to pray for my brother to like me 🙂
That was probably I did not see what was coming.
Days flew, and years rolled by, but for one particular day, when my whole world was shaking beneath my feet and I was being chewed by the jaws of fate, there stood my irritating and unlovable brother wiping tears like a 5yr old standing at the feet of my Father.
He still dint hug me, he still dint wipe my tears, he just let me sob as we both soaked not just in tears but unexplainable love for the very first time beside our Dad’s coffin.
He sat right across Dad’s coffin in the Church, comforted by his beautiful wife, I looked at him rather stared at him to realise what was born that minute.
It was not really our Dad who died that day, But love was born after 30yrs of being mere siblings.
What if I did not have a brother. I would have been standing there right in the middle like an orphan, begging around with pitiful eyes, to carry my Dad for his final journey.
No I did not need anyone. None of you. For I have all of the worlds Strength & Love put together in one Soul called ‘Asir’, my beloved Anna.
every time I saw his face that day, the more convinced I was , that dad did not ‘just’ die yet !!
He stood tall that day, on that very important day and virtually hugged me and my baby as we held on to hope like a thin rope. He was my SuperHero.
I can even go a step further and feel its sometimes my dad that just spoke to me through my brother. that’s him, that’s him.
Hey he was just a brother in the past, now and forever a father.
I still have some friends who have brothers who don’t even give a second look after marriage, who have parted ways after the death of their parents.
I know of some siblings turned strangers turned foes for the love of so called “wealth’.
As I think back, all I can remember is, I have never hugged my brother, I have never asked him about his Sports Day, I have never complimented him, I have never tried to understand his world.
I was so selfish all along my childhood.
If I had taken the effort to move closer to him and made friends with him, my life would have been less dramatic. Yes ofcourse I would have broken a few bones in that process 🙂
I wish I could travel back in time and make up for every lost minute with you Anna. But yes, life would have been less interesting that way 🙂
For each of us, there needs to be a sibling standing tall shoulder to shoulder. Not just for hugging and kissing but also to hold on tight when everything else crashes down.
When I get old, when my parents die and my kids fly away, I would like to sit in peace and sip that hot cup of coffee and rewind all the good old memories with my brother. Our beautiful home, our grandparents, our parents, the amazing legacy they have left behind.
When I look at Baby Ved, I feel this gentle nudge to get him a sibling.
When I am gone and his dad becomes a sweet memory, the only other person who will pick up his pieces and strengthen him will be his sibling.
We all need a sibling to laugh, love, care, share memories, fight, get hurt, get back on track, to cherish memories and to walk hand in hand as one body one soul.
Many friends may come and go, parents may die one day and children go far away, but my Brother you will stand with me forever in memories after all we shared something so special, our Mother’s Womb.
For me this can be the Bestest relationship for anyone.
A little boy’s amma.