2

I have failed as a Mother !!

I have failed as a Mother,
If i told you this life is a bed of roses.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i told you, you will always have success at your fingertips.

I have failed as a Mother,

If you will never ever fail and to fail was the end.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i told you, you will find your true love at first sight.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, you will fall in love more than once with wrong people, only to end up with the right one.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you to help your hands and pray with your lips.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i told you the Almighty God was a myth.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, that its ok to lose everything in this world but not hope.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you that, people will judge you, criticize you, all in their own terms.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, that atleast once in your life, you will be pushed to the darkest hour.

I have failed as a Mother,

If I don’t tell you that it’s ok to hit Rock Bottom but not lose faith. 

I have failed as a Mother,

If I told you it’s ok to live penniless but not characterless.  

I have failed as a Mother,

If i don’t teach you to pray not as the last resort but as your first response. 

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, that through your teenage, atleast once you thought, your best friends mom was the best.

I have failed as a mother, 

If I don’t tell you the greatness of your forefathers. 

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, that i died a little everytime we fought and i struggled to understand your boy thing.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint teach you to respect nature.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint teach you, its not ok to spit on mother earth’s face.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, that people will be rude to you irrespective of how nice you are.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you not to fall for that girl who chose you just for the way you look.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, to marry that girl who loves your beautiful soul.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, that your dad and i cried tears of joy one midnight holding your soft tender babybody close to us.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, you mean the world to us.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, everything that concerns you matters most to us. Like the green fishy you are holding right now.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, dad and i want to see you a Military man, ignoring the truth, the possibility of you losing your life for our country.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint teach you to give and share.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you to surprise yourself with little kindness.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, You Are A Miracle.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you that, Everyone is a Miracle.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, whatever the wrong you have done, dad and i will stand by you .

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, that dad and i believe in you.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint confess that i cannot control my tears, when i give my baby boy at the alter for marriage . Mothers of boys cry too.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you its ok to make mistakes, even costly lessons. They are the best teachers of life.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, all your life people are going to compare you and ridicule you .

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, your bestest friend will be a girl and you guys will lose touch at one point of time.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, you will burry some memories of untold love and revisit them in silence once a while.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you that, people are on the lookout for kindness and love from you.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you, atleast one person will walk upto you and say, Ved i have not given up on life yet just because of you.

I have failed as a Mother,

If i dint tell you that being your Mommy has been the bestest feeling i have ever had

I have failed as a mother, 

If I don’t tell you that, you have moulded this very ordinary woman into an extraordinary mother. 

Pris,

A little boy’s Amma. 

2

Friends Forever ?? ~ A reality check !!

At least once in your life, little Ved, you are going to meet that one person, who will prick you right through your eyes and laugh at you, that, Friendship was one big joke – But don’t believe him yet !!

More than once, little Ved, you will come across that one person, who will stand by you through thick and thin and restore your Faith in Friendship – Call him your Best Friend !!

There will also be a person, who hugged you during good times and vanished during tough ones – Don’t forget the painful lessons he left behind !!

And then will come a friend, who will hang around until money lasts – Run 10 steps away from him !!

Followed by another, who will show up until the last day of your life, until the memories last – Cherish Him !!

Another will walk in and pose as your bestest friend, but don’t fall for him yet, he will be there only till your Popularity lasts – don’t entertain him !!

Then will come this guy, who will be right beside your sick bed, breathing new Promises for the Future – don’t let him go !!

When your parents fail you, this little lad will cry together with you as if he lost his own – Call him Brother !!

He will not have any money, he will not look glamourous, but he will give his life for you – In gratitude, give your life back to him !!

And then she will walk beside you, like a Beautiful Poem, making heads turn and gossip mills spinning – Just ignore all of that, for I, your mother knows, she is your Best friend !!

And then this friend, who before your even realised, snatched away your girlfriend, don’t cry over them – sit a couple of minutes in silence and let her go !!

A friend can make you or break you beyond repair.

Your mom has been very lucky to have very few friends, who have literally spent half their lifetime with her in a constructive way. as I close my eyes, all I can see is a life well spent with them.

Then a negligible few, who have taught the uglier side of life.

And I will also admit that I have not reciprocated many of the friendship invites that came my way.

But you Baby Ved, be wise in choosing your circle. I pray that you end up with people who will shape you and not crush you.

Be around with people who don’t always have to agree with you, with a different opinion, else you will never know the other side of life.

Having said all this, if once in your Lifetime, you meet people, who have robbed you off your Friendship, Surprised you with their ugliness, and scarred your tender heart beyond words, I plead with you, don’t lay there disappointed.

Bounce Back Ved !!

For you always have a Friend for life, who does not always understand your Boyish stuff, who is not as pleasant as your father, who says more don’ts than anyone, who stalks you each second and keeps a tab on your communications, who pokes her nose and wants to know all about your relationships, because she cares for you.

And you call her Amma. We have been together from day 0. And we were born together, you as a son and I as a mother. And I promise to be there for you, forever.

Pris,

A little boy’s Amma.

1

Single Child ? Anyone? I always wanted to be one !!

I always wished all of my Childhood, that I was a Single Child.

Or I wanted an elder sister.

But my Big Brother irritated me like hell and I made sure I irritated him twice as much.

I wished I was a Single Child so that I got my parents undivided love, and lots of chocolates that I dint have to share.

Oh yea, so, he was my brother. So what ?? what else does he mean to me?

I’ve had lucky friends with brothers who were extremely sweet like angels.

But my brother, was so terrifying. His hyperactive soul played pranks with me every other second, he laughed at my falls, never picked me up, never hugged me, never patted me, never asked me how my day was.

He never walked me to school, never helped with homework or help me choose a dress. Never complemented how I looked.

Our mother has to 1st whisper and then shout loudly ordering him to wish me happy birthday.

He made a formality Christmas wish and a disappearing New year wish and a no wish Easter.

He walked 10 steps away from me; Disowned me every opportunity he got.

Of all these, the most irritating thing he ever did was, to call me names I never liked. Not just in house, but middle of the streets.

I used to runaway from him.

Who wants a brother like this. You might, but not me definitely not me. I even wrote anonymous letters to some Christian Preachers to pray for my brother to like me 🙂

That was probably I did not see what was coming.

Days flew, and years rolled by, but for one particular day, when my whole world was shaking beneath my feet and I was being chewed by the jaws of fate, there stood my irritating and unlovable brother wiping tears like a 5yr old standing at the feet of my Father.

He still dint hug me, he still dint wipe my tears, he just let me sob as we both soaked not just in tears but unexplainable love for the very first time beside our Dad’s coffin.

He sat right across Dad’s coffin in the Church, comforted by his beautiful wife, I looked at him rather stared at him to realise what was born that minute.

It was not really our Dad who died that day, But love was born after 30yrs of being mere siblings.

What if I did not have a brother. I would have been standing there right in the middle like an orphan, begging around with pitiful eyes, to carry my Dad for his final journey.

No I did not need anyone. None of you. For I have all of the worlds Strength & Love put together in one Soul called ‘Asir’, my beloved Anna.

every time I saw his face that day, the more convinced I was , that dad did not ‘just’ die yet !!

He stood tall that day, on that very important day and virtually hugged me and my baby as we held on to hope like a thin rope. He was my SuperHero.

I can even go a step further and feel its sometimes my dad that just spoke to me through my brother. that’s him, that’s him.

Hey he was just a brother in the past, now and forever a father.

I still have some friends who have brothers who don’t even give a second look after marriage, who have parted ways after the death of their parents.

I know of some siblings turned strangers turned foes for the love of so called “wealth’.

As I think back, all I can remember is, I have never hugged my brother, I have never asked him about his Sports Day, I have never complimented him, I have never tried to understand his world.

I was so selfish all along my childhood.

If I had taken the effort to move closer to him and made friends with him, my life would have been less dramatic. Yes ofcourse I would have broken a few bones in that process 🙂

I wish I could travel back in time and make up for every lost minute with you Anna. But yes, life would have been less interesting that way 🙂

For each of us, there needs to be a sibling standing tall shoulder to shoulder. Not just for hugging and kissing but also to hold on tight when everything else crashes down.

When I get old, when my parents die and my kids fly away, I would like to sit in peace and sip that hot cup of coffee and rewind all the good old memories with my brother. Our beautiful home, our grandparents, our parents, the amazing legacy they have left behind.

When I look at Baby Ved, I feel this gentle nudge to get him a sibling.

When I am gone and his dad becomes a sweet memory, the only other person who will pick up his pieces and strengthen him will be his sibling.

We all need a sibling to laugh, love, care, share memories, fight, get hurt, get back on track, to cherish memories and to walk hand in hand as one body one soul.

Many friends may come and go, parents may die one day and children go far away, but my Brother you will stand with me forever in memories after all we shared something so special, our Mother’s Womb.

For me this can be the Bestest relationship for anyone.

Pris,

A little boy’s amma.