1)Of how Handsome or Cute he looks:
The other day, I read an eye-opening article , that children who are complimented based on their looks, grow up to have personality disorders.
Alternatively, please tell Baby Ved that, he is;
- A kind boy.
- A Soft Boy
- A Loving boy
- A helpful boy
- An obedient boy.
Do add anything to the list to construct his character in a positive way.
2) Are you Dada’s Boy or Momma’s Man:
This is one of the ridiculous questions I have encountered all my life. I have always chose either of the two and immediately wanted to rewrite the answer. I would wonder if the other parent loved me any less.
This confuses the child as to who loves him the most or wait, something like whom he loves the most. For sure you are sowing seeds of doubt in his little brain.
He is ours and we are his!!
3) Mathematics Score:
I would forgive anyone and everyone, but not this culprit. Trust me, I have (as a child) refused to visit some relatives just because they scared the hell out of me by popping this question. They asked for Numbers. Please ask my son about Disney Shoes and Cars and Bikes but no ‘numbers’ please.
Even if he does not look like mommy, he for sure hates numbers like her. I think so 😛
4) What is your ambition in life:
This would definitely top the list of ‘insensible’ questions to children. When I was a child, I would take a couple of seconds to respond to this question and immediately some family member would do the honours for me and declare “she, Priscilla, wants to become a doctor”. Honestly my ambition was to marry a Chocolate Factory owner and eat chocolates every day. I’m not sure if I really knew the spelling of a doctor, but I for sure made them smile. They that heard my ambition. Not sure if they smiled because they were proud or smiled, cunningly.
BabyVed is a child. He does not have great ambitions. For the moment his ambition is to pull down the trays in the Kitchen, and sit with a pile of Onions and Potatoes all around him. Trust me; he is working hard towards it.
Let’s not spoil their creativity. Let’s not force them to live our dreams. Let them dream for themselves. Let’s not draw boundaries. And clip their wings. Let them fly and explore as much as they wish and reinvent themselves.
5) Comparing ‘HIM’:
This is a BIG ‘No’ for me. He is unique. That’s what I tell him every day. I really don’t care if your Grandchild, took 8 steps at 8 months and you find BabyVed still lazying around and crawling. That’s fine with me. As I told you he is Unique. For that matter every baby is. He is himself. He is not faking his milestones. I would any day welcome your positive criticism, to his flaws but not your discouraging comments please.
6) What he owns – ‘materialistic’ –
BabyVed is a ‘Single’ Child (as of now). But that does not mean we have taught him, ‘his’ toys, ‘his’ food or ‘his dress’. You can walk into our house any day and take any of these, except ‘His laughter’ and him.
I would appreciate if you can refrain from asking him, “is this your house” or “this this your own house” and anything that points to materialistic possession.
7) Your parents are working so hard, so better be good:
Our parents were extremely hardworking. They never told us. We found out as we grew. Same way, we don’t want Baby Ved to know what we are doing for him. He did not choose us. We chose him. We needed him, we longed for him. We could have lost him to any home or parent. But he was meant for us. Meant to shine in our lives. We prayed that, we hold and hug him every day.
So it is our responsibility to provide for him. By all means. Till my last breath, I want to keep working hard for him. It’s my duty as a parent and if we keep telling him this, then am not his momma and he is not my little boy anymore.
While I totally understand that we need to gel as a society to raise better individuals, I would like to emphasise that it should only be in a positive way.
Society can kill and inspire dreams. Our Next generation needs inspirations; they need to look up to us every time they stumble, not run away from us.
Raising baby Ved as a wonderful gentleman is my responsibility, but of course I could use a little help from every one of you.
A little boy’s amma.